1.) What kind of city sends one dude to inspect a building that they are considering for demolition in the middle of the night?
2.) Geez, If these kids are criminals how did they even get caught in the first place? The instant they get to the hospital and are left alone by Mr. Cobb, Tyson pulls out two guns from his bag, and Phillip pulls out a big bag of weed from his and starts getting' high? That means no one at all searched them or their bags. If they at least made it look like Tyson and Phillip had cleverly hidden these things I could buy it.
• The fact that they are left with absolutely no supervision from a case worker, a cop or even the clergy is mind-boggling. It crosses the line on "well, it's only a movie" into "What bonehead wrote this?".
3.) 34 minutes into the movie and the scariest thing that happened so far is Alicia saw snakes on the bathroom floor (in a totally gratuitous nude scene that will do nothing for you) and ….this part is confusing….maggots in a bowl. I say it's confusing but you can't tell what's happening. Phillip reacts with disgust, but the others just kind of stand there as if it's no big deal. Tyson pulls out a gun and points it at the bowl for no reason. Nothing at all happens. (…and none of the others react to the fact that he has a gun). Alicia calmly walks over to the bowl and puts some lighter fluid in it and lights it with a match. No one really reacts realistically to that either. Who wrote this dreck? They couldn't have been high, because if they were it might have been interesting.
• Someone asks Alicia what she's in for directly after and she says "Arson". Yeah, that makes sense. A thug who has TWO guns on him, a punk that has a sandwich bag full of weed, and an arsonist with access to flammable liquids and matches…and no one is supervising them on this court ordered excursion.
4.) Oh for the luvva…it takes just over an hour for the first demon related kill, and it's so badly acted you'll probably sleep through it. Tamara becomes possessed (why her, I don't know, don't care. Neither will you). She rips Cobb's spine out in front of Claudia and Tyson like a super-move in Mortal Kombat. When the others come because of the commotion it has all of the excitement of choosing between Crest or Colgate toothpaste.
5.) WTF? Father Enrique just SHOWS UP as the demons attack? He's not been mentioned before or anything. They may as well have had him show up in a Batman costume.
• Oh, he's from the branch of the church known as "Demon-Slayers". Yeah, that explains a lot.
• Enrique sure didn't do much before he bit the dust. Well, he did more than the actual characters I had to endure for the last hour or so, but by this point I don't care who wins. Roll credits!
6.) Tyson sure turned out to be all hat and no cattle in the thug department. He's still got his pistols but when the demons show up he doesn't use them. Even when the possessed Tamara charges him, Phillip and Father Enrique he lets the old one eyed priest use an itty-bitty knife to cut her head off with one stroke instead of, well, shooting her. He had plenty of time to do it, too.
• Well he 'kind of uses them' later. See Hangover Moments.
7.) So Father Patricio grew up in the old brothel or something? By the time that nugget becomes known WHO CARES? They just wrote this as they were filming it, didn't they?
HANGOVER MOMENTS
♦ A baby carriage from Hell. Seriously, that's what our characters find on their way to stop the demons in the basement. Father Enrique even says "a baby carriage from hell" when asked what it is.
♦ WOW…this movie was cheap. When Tyson fires his pistols at the demonized Claudia they couldn't afford to even foley in the gunshot sounds. I'm surprised the director didn't just tell him to yell "BANG BANG!".
♦ The entire last 30 or so minutes is a hangover. Suddenly Father Enrique shows up with little to no explanation. He gets killed quickly too, even though he says he's a demon-slayer.
FAMILIAR TROPES
The Black Guy Dies First. Literally. The first character you see is the city inspector guy and he gets whacked before the title credits.
Not sure if Alicia fits the Chosen One trope. She probably does, but the movie is so bad you won't notice anything to make you think she is except for clunky nonsensible crap.
THE BAR TAB
The only reason I can give this movie one beer is because it was *slightly* better than "Adam and Evil"…and Adam and Evil was horrible. The sad part is it had potential…..it's not original, but what is? It just didn't follow up on its premise at all and hell, no one watches a movie named Demon Slayer without wanting to see cheap scares, bloody deaths and well, demons. You won't get that here. If you try, have some alka-seltzer at the ready.
