Have a Colod One

THE CARthe car

James Brolin as Wade
Kathleen Lloyd as Lauren
Ronny Cox as Luke
RG Armstrong as Amos

"and if hear another sound out of that thing I'll ram it so far up your ass you'll be farting music for a year!"-Amos


Back in the 70s my cousin Keith and I would go to the movies weekly as kids. We grew up in a (at that time) small town, and the quickest way for the adults to get us out of their hair during the summer was to give us a few bucks and send us to the State theater to see a flick. We saw a lot of horror movies, it didn't matter if they were rated R. The ticket guy never stopped us from going in. So I remember seeing The Car on the big screen when I was 12 years old.
Somewhere out west a strange demonic black car with tinted windows is roaming around running people over for just "the evulz" I guess. Sherriff's Deputy and single dad Wade Parent (Brolin) set up roadblocks to try to stop the murderous driver. But they soon find out the driver is….THE DEVIL! The Car's rampage claims the lives of Sherriff Everett, and Wade's girlfriend Lauren. Now Wade, Officer Luke (The Not-So-Recovering Alcoholic), and Amos, the town asshole must find a way to stop Old Nick's motorized mayhem without a priest, holy water or a cross.
To be honest this movie didn't really scare me as a kid, which is surprising. Usually after we saw a scary movie I'd be so jumpy my cousin Keith would make fun of me for a week. Still it was fairly entertaining to watch as an adult. The fact that they had to the balls to kill the hero's girlfriend was unexpected.


1.) Yeah, it must be the 70s. Loading two children on the back of a motorcycle to take them to school looked cool back then. Nowadays you'd probably get a visit from CPS. Note that Wade isn't wearing a helmet (his daughter comments on this) and he's wearing a pink shirt. In 2016 I don't think they even make pink shirts for men anymore.
2.) Man, the cops sure are giving Amos the 3rd degree. He's a witness to the Car running over the young French horn playing drifter. But they're all like "What kind of car? What kind of plates? What kind of fuzzy dice on the rear view mirror?" Surely Amos is meant to be a wife beating asshole, but damn, he keeps saying "I don't know", and you know what? He might remember a few more details if they stopped treating him like he killed the kid.
3.) It's the same thing when Everett gets run over by the Car. The Car barely missed Amos, but hits Everett. Wade interrogates Amos as if he had something to do with it. Dude, he obviously wasn't driving the car, and yeah, he's a dirtbag, but he isn't the bad guy in this.
If you see Ronny Cox in a movie and he's not the bad guy, you know the flick was made before Robocop.
5.) Whoa-ho-ho! The principal shows Lauren a drawing one of her a students made. A nude drawing. ( It's not THAT explicit, you pervs) Lauren says his proportions are off, he made look her look like a 36D. ( She ain't). The principal asks if Lauren thinks its ok for a 13 year old boy to imagine his teacher naked. Me? I'm wondering if the principal knows anything ABOUT 13 year old boys. When I was 13 I had to make a conscious effort to not stare at boobies. Speaking of boobies, Lauren's friend Margie has some impressive ones.
6.) After ordering all of the deputies on double secret duty to find the CAR…which at least at this point they think is a guy driving a car and running people over with it…Sheriff Everett tells Wade "Come on, buy me a whiskey!" and wants to go to the local bar and well, I guess, get wasted. Wade actually agrees but wants to wait for Luke (the recovering alcoholic) who is supposedly checking the weapons locker but he's actually sneaking a drink himself. This movie has a drinking problem.
7.) It sure doesn't take Luke too long to fall apart in the movie. How the hell did he ever make it as a cop at all? Let me get this right…..Wade, who is now in charge, tells Luke to call the school and have them cancel the parade practice. Luke doesn't do that and thus we have the scene where the Car tries (and fails) to kill the kids and about 2 dozen horses. When Wade confronts Luke about it, Luke just bawls about how hard it's been and walks out of the room. Damn. I want his job. I forgot to lock one drawer in a secure building (you'd have to get through five OTHER locks just to get to it not to mention the MP at the LOCKED front of the building) once and got my ass chewed liked a shark on leg of lamb.
8.) In the 70s cop cars explode instantly if flipped over.
9.) At the end of the movie Wade dismisses Luke's "faith" sort of. They just went through this elaborate plane to dynamite the devil Car and Wade just says "Its over! We buried him under tons of rock!" Um, it was a devil Car, why would you even think that was a solution. Were those rocks Holy?


♦ The Car sideswipes the truck the cops are in but the truck show not nary a dent a few seconds later.
♦ Funny how the final action scenes don't match up with the backgrounds of the Car speeding around.


Well, the movie is in the 70s and it takes place out west, so ya gotta have some sprinkling of "ancient Indian Wisdom."
Everett had time to get out of the way before the Car hit him. But it's a horror movie, so of course he just stands there….and he's a trained cop!

The ANIMALS ALWAYS KNOW! Just before the Car attacks the school's parade practice the horse in the parade start to freak out like [Mister Ed Voice] Oh nooooooo! The Devil! He be a'comin'! [/Mister Ed Voice] I don't know whether to invoke the "Holy Ground" trope or the "I don't believe the supernatural exists even though it's in my face trope" on this movie. Luke (rightly guesses that the Car could not attack Lauren or the kids earlier because they took refuge in a cemetary….holy ground. After Lauren is killed in her home by the Car, Wade refuses to accept that….even though there is no other real explanation.


Your mileage may vary with The Car. (har har, get it?) It depends on how much you like old 70s style b-movies. My biggest pet peeve with it is that they never attempt to really explain The Car. Was it Old Scratch taking a few days to run people over in his demonic brimstone pimp-mobile? Maybe it was just a crazy guy with a custom made vehicle out for a little vehicular homicide? (in that case the heroes killed the guy without even trying to arrest him much). I have a soft spot for the flick since I saw it as a kid. It's worth at least four beers.

four beers

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